Bypassing. What is it and why do we do it? Bypassing is a term that was coined by John Welwood. Essentially, we are bypassing when we go to “love and light” rather than to feel uncomfortable emotions. Bypassing happens when we use spiritual practices or toxic positivity to avoid feeling something. We can also intellectually bypass when we overanalyse or rationalize something rather than to feel it. This is also something that we discover in repression inquiry: that it is safer for us to get lost in the mind, ideas and thinking rather than to feel something. This is also why “the secret” and other similar new age movements have such wide appeal. 

To avoid feeling is culturally mandated. The only problem with this is that it makes us impotent and powerless. Our emotional system is our honing system, our guide. If it is off-line through bypassing, we are running suboptimally. And most of us are because of childhood and ancestral wounds, as well as cultural conditioning.

I was an expert bypasser most of my life. In therapy, I overanalyzed my feelings. Through the meditating and practicing yoga regularly most of my life, I simply tried to feel better. And, I would feel superficially better for a while with these strategies. But, if I didn’t keep coming back to them – the yoga, the meditation, I would feel like crap. I was simply dealing with the effects of not processing or even noticing my emotions. 

It’s amazing the amount of work we put into avoiding feeling! Wow! It’s herculean if you think about it. But drop in. Notice how you are feeling throughout the day and repeat it in your head or aloud to bring the mindbody connection on-line. This is a foundational practice that helps nurture emotional literacy. Give it a try.

There are emotions that weren’t safe to feel and express as children as it made our parents uncomfortable (because of their own repression). We will go to extreme lengths via bypassing to avoid feeling these. We come up with whole paradigms and systems to avoid dealing with our repression! Once we are able to feel and express and essentially thaw out these emotions that are buried in the body, a new sense of freedom arises. I know for me, I spent most of my life feeling uneasy and icky. It is through repression inquiry and becoming emotional literate that another aspect of myself has come on-line!

If you too would like to find your way to un-repression and authenticity, feel free to book a free clarity call with me to find out if this work is right for you at jenfoxley.com!